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Nov 30, 2011
11/11
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that's really lovely of you to say. >> jon: well because.... >> and on your birthday. >> jon: exactly. they ask me sometimes and i say how many of these books do you read by the guests? i say, well, i (beep) may way through many of the interviews mostly with high profile diplomats, et cetera. but then these come along. it's like, thank you. what a great way to spend an afternoon and evening reading these. the one about your mother killed me. >> that is so lovely of you to say i really appreciate. my mother. it occurred to me at some point when i did my studies-- by that i mean talking to my friends-- that all comedians seem to have one one or two of the same pattern mothers. it's like the same mom invented stand-up comedy raised all the comedians. what's bad for childhood trust issues is really good for comedy routines. it's like being raised by a heckler. >> jon: (laughing). her diary. when did you discover your diarys? >> well, my mother has been dead for a couple of decades now. right when she died and i was kind of putting... going through her stuff and figuring... i knew she kept
that's really lovely of you to say. >> jon: well because.... >> and on your birthday. >> jon: exactly. they ask me sometimes and i say how many of these books do you read by the guests? i say, well, i (beep) may way through many of the interviews mostly with high profile diplomats, et cetera. but then these come along. it's like, thank you. what a great way to spend an afternoon and evening reading these. the one about your mother killed me. >> that is so lovely of you...
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Aug 11, 2011
08/11
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>> jon, jon, i'm so disappointed. america finally gets our first black president and our credit goes bad. [laughter and applause] >> jon: are you... are you suggesting that racism is the cause of our credit downgrade because that... >> new york jon. i'm saying that as a black man it's the one thing i didn't want to see line up. you know, like when you see a murder reported on the news, you're like, please don't let it be black guy. [laughter] oh, a white guy killed that old lady, yes! [applause] >> jon: larry, i appreciate this sentiment, but you shouldn't be celebrating an old lady's... >> i'm not finished. let me finish. ♪ we didn't shoot that lady >> very nice, very nice. >> look, you know how republicans have been looking for the perfect black stereotype to bring down obama's presidency for a while. they keep pointing out how much he likes basketball. yeah, you know, they called his 50th birthday a hip-hop barbecue. what is this? and now credit problems? i was always afraid that 3:00 a.m. phone call was just fro
>> jon, jon, i'm so disappointed. america finally gets our first black president and our credit goes bad. [laughter and applause] >> jon: are you... are you suggesting that racism is the cause of our credit downgrade because that... >> new york jon. i'm saying that as a black man it's the one thing i didn't want to see line up. you know, like when you see a murder reported on the news, you're like, please don't let it be black guy. [laughter] oh, a white guy killed that old...
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Aug 17, 2011
08/11
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(laughter) >> jon: you seem to hate bookstore employees. >> oh, i loathe them, jon. they shove my books under humor, not witticism as i asked! do i look like "marpl duke" to you? (laughter) >> jon: marmaduke is a very big dog." (laughs) >> pathetic. we have to face facts, jon, the big box bookstore has passed into history. not something we should embrace and be proud of by preserving borders as a popular historical attraction. >> jon: like colonial williamsburg. >> exactly. bring the kids down to ye olde borderstown. let them see what it felt like to paw through a clearance bin of calendar or sneak a peek at pornography printed on actual paper on the giant rack of weird magazines you've never heard of. including my personal favorite "bookstore magazine rack aficionado magazine." >> jon: i think a bookstore preserve might appeal to a small market. >> can't be smaller than the market of people who bri books anyway. so what do you like? gather round, young' uns and see how we used to have book lights. in the 1980s an ice cream was a sign of wealth and books didn't glow.
(laughter) >> jon: you seem to hate bookstore employees. >> oh, i loathe them, jon. they shove my books under humor, not witticism as i asked! do i look like "marpl duke" to you? (laughter) >> jon: marmaduke is a very big dog." (laughs) >> pathetic. we have to face facts, jon, the big box bookstore has passed into history. not something we should embrace and be proud of by preserving borders as a popular historical attraction. >> jon: like colonial...
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May 11, 2011
05/11
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. >> jon: no. >> but... (laughter). >> jon: this is true. will did not know we were doing that bit tonight and just happened to bring the bat. >> just happened to bring the bat. (laughter). >> jon: because you never know when you're walking through the streets of new york city. where did you get that? how did you go... n a three-minute span? >> i asked your outstanding staff god it would be great if i could just walk out with a bat. boom! (laughter) where's the bat? where's the bat? well you have,... >> jon: you have sufficiently ruined that for our intramural softball game. (laughter). >> anyone going up to the plate has to go through that motion now. that would be the only way. >> jon: wouldn't that make games so much more interesting. >> and that will drive the other team crazy! either sexually or it will just mess them up in such a way that... >> jon: just in between pitches to just step out and stare at the pitcher and just go "oh, yeah." (laughter) >> not gun that happen today, guys. can you think of anything more intimidating? >> jon:
. >> jon: no. >> but... (laughter). >> jon: this is true. will did not know we were doing that bit tonight and just happened to bring the bat. >> just happened to bring the bat. (laughter). >> jon: because you never know when you're walking through the streets of new york city. where did you get that? how did you go... n a three-minute span? >> i asked your outstanding staff god it would be great if i could just walk out with a bat. boom! (laughter) where's...
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Mar 27, 2011
03/11
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i'm he jon scott, fox news watch is on right now. over time, as codes of law sought to control violence within groups, so did philosophers and clerics and statesmen seek to regulate the destructive power of war. the concept of a just war emerged. suggesting that war is justified only when certain conditions were met. if it is waged as a last resort or in self-defense, if the force used as proportional and if whenever possible civilians are spared from violence. >> jon: that's a small portion of president obama's acceptance speech after the won the nobel peace prize in oslo in 2009. now, we pulled that clip for a couple of reasons. one is simply to ask if what he said in that speech is a justification for what we're now doing in libya, jim? >> well, it depends who you ask. i mean, you know, this is such a great illustration of the partisanship on the media, on the whole democrats are for this war and republicans are skeptical. i go back to, you know, kosovo when the democrats are for it and go to iraq when the republicans are for it.
i'm he jon scott, fox news watch is on right now. over time, as codes of law sought to control violence within groups, so did philosophers and clerics and statesmen seek to regulate the destructive power of war. the concept of a just war emerged. suggesting that war is justified only when certain conditions were met. if it is waged as a last resort or in self-defense, if the force used as proportional and if whenever possible civilians are spared from violence. >> jon: that's a small...
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Feb 6, 2011
02/11
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>> i don't know. >> jon: there you go.
>> i don't know. >> jon: there you go.
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Sep 23, 2011
09/11
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hi, i'm jon stewart. [cheering and applause] [laughter] will you be an angel for a helpless multimillionaire? every day james meriweather phillips, james to our domestic staff, and thousands more like him live in fear that the top marginal tax rate will be raised from its current 35% to 39.6%. but you can help. for just most of what you earn in a year, you can help james make up that difference. call now because he wants the money now. we'll be right back. >> jon: hey, i'm about to interstrew governor of indiana, mitch daniels, and from what i understand, it's going to go very long, so what we're going to try to do is, with as few cuts as possible, present it in a way that is coherent and makes sense and everything else will be up on the web, so, i mean, i know how you kids on the web like the watch people talk to governors. [laughter] his new book is called "keeping the republic: saving america by trusting americans." please welcome to the program governor mitch daniels. [applause] thank you for joining
hi, i'm jon stewart. [cheering and applause] [laughter] will you be an angel for a helpless multimillionaire? every day james meriweather phillips, james to our domestic staff, and thousands more like him live in fear that the top marginal tax rate will be raised from its current 35% to 39.6%. but you can help. for just most of what you earn in a year, you can help james make up that difference. call now because he wants the money now. we'll be right back. >> jon: hey, i'm about to...
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Oct 2, 2011
10/11
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i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. ♪ >> what do i have to do short of suicide to convince people i'm the not running. i'm not running for president. i'm not going. a zero chance i will. i don't want to run for president. >> you feel in your heart you have no business running. >> i'm not arrogant enough as one year as governor and seven years as united states attorney i run for president. >> the heart felt message you gave me also is not a reason to do it. that reason has to reside inside me. >> jon: asked and answered is he running? and moves us to the next topic, is he running? and more specifically, jim, are the media pushing him? he can issue all the denials he wants to and the speculative stories still pop up. >> i think the media are desperate for him to run. >> jon: why? >> two reasons, one, they love the adventure of it all, the more the merrier. as i've said for several weeks, there's a strain within the mainstream media has had it with obama and wants somebody, they don't want
i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. ♪ >> what do i have to do short of suicide to convince people i'm the not running. i'm not running for president. i'm not going. a zero chance i will. i don't want to run for president. >> you feel in your heart you have no business running. >> i'm not arrogant enough as one year as governor and seven years as united states attorney i run for president. >> the heart felt message you gave me also is not a reason to do it....
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Oct 1, 2011
10/11
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. >> jon: new jersey governor chris christie pressured to get into the race. >> i'm not running. >> jon: speculation over his candidacy hits fever pitch. >> no more vetoes, only titos, yeah. >> jon: the push? >> the media is trying to create a story, by pushing chris christie into the race just like they tried to create a story sucking rick perry into the race. >> and herman cain did win the florida straw poll. are the media ignoring his success. >> stop complaining, stop grumbling stop crying. >> jon: president obama gives a speech, did his effort hit home or miss to the mark. >> you would never say to the jewish community stop complaining about israel. >> did the media take notice. >> jon: solar gig, fast and furious, anti-bailout ads, are these all real scandals plaguing the white house? do the media know the difference? and 60 minutes resident curmudgeon andy rooney faces his exit. >> each of us face an important question each day of our life, the question is this, should we clean up when we finish or leave it till later? >> on the panel this week writer and fox news contributor, ju
. >> jon: new jersey governor chris christie pressured to get into the race. >> i'm not running. >> jon: speculation over his candidacy hits fever pitch. >> no more vetoes, only titos, yeah. >> jon: the push? >> the media is trying to create a story, by pushing chris christie into the race just like they tried to create a story sucking rick perry into the race. >> and herman cain did win the florida straw poll. are the media ignoring his success....
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Feb 19, 2011
02/11
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i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. now. >> . >> jamie: when it comes to choices about our budget and priorities, we have found common ground before. ronald reagan and tip o'neill came together to save social security. bill clinton and the republican congress eventually found a way to settle their differences and balance the budget. many democrats and republicans in congress today came together in december to pass the tax cut that's made america's paychecks bigger this year and spur on additional economic growth this year. >> jon: president obama earlier this week at that news conference where he primarily discussed his budget. jim, no president likes to hold a news conference, but there's always a calculated gamble in holding one, i guess the white house thought this time that they needed to manage the message on the budget? >> well, they're continuing their try angulation and credit for spending cuts that republicans say are-- shows itty-bitty and should be bigger, but look, obama as got the bully pulpit and he should
i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. now. >> . >> jamie: when it comes to choices about our budget and priorities, we have found common ground before. ronald reagan and tip o'neill came together to save social security. bill clinton and the republican congress eventually found a way to settle their differences and balance the budget. many democrats and republicans in congress today came together in december to pass the tax cut that's made america's paychecks bigger this...
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May 13, 2011
05/11
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>> jon: no. well, if you enjoyed, that you'll love this album of fox news personalities ruining songs from many of your other favorite hip-hop artists. now that's what those people call music. [applause] now, those more expolice celt lyrics, the more explicit lyrics describing violent action that hannity was quoting, those lyrics actually end on the couplet, "no time for that cause there's things to be done. stay true to what i do so the youth dream come." basically common says, you know that violence i was talking about earlier in my poem, let's end that in our communities so our dreams can come true. it's a call for peace. but hannity makes a good point. it sounds like killing cops to him. [laughter] and if fox newsstands for anything, it is a zero-tolerance policy for any individual who might have or actually did write a song about cop killing. >> and happy birthday to rapper and actor ice-t. he is 52. [cheers and applause] >> jon: well, to be fair, that's different because ice-t was not celeb
>> jon: no. well, if you enjoyed, that you'll love this album of fox news personalities ruining songs from many of your other favorite hip-hop artists. now that's what those people call music. [applause] now, those more expolice celt lyrics, the more explicit lyrics describing violent action that hannity was quoting, those lyrics actually end on the couplet, "no time for that cause there's things to be done. stay true to what i do so the youth dream come." basically common says,...
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Jan 2, 2011
01/11
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i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. the images we can't forget from 2010, an explosion and fire aboard the deepwater horizon oil rig in the gulf of mexico on april 20th, killing 11 workers, fouling the gulf with at least 170 million gallons of crude. the gulf oil spill was voted the number one media story of 2010 by u.s. editors and news directors, let's talk about that number one story for a second. the media always liked to find villains in events like this. so who was the villain? >> i would say bp and all the other companies associated with it, certainly fall into that category and i must say i'm delighted that the hundreds of millions of dollars that bp spent, got it raided by many media outlets, including the wall street journal and completely deserve it and should get more. >> jon: they had spent many millions ahead of this trying to cast themselves as the sort of ecologically friendly oil company i guess. and remember, it's not british petroleum, it's-- what about who that was. >> i'd ask a question, but i want
i'm jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. the images we can't forget from 2010, an explosion and fire aboard the deepwater horizon oil rig in the gulf of mexico on april 20th, killing 11 workers, fouling the gulf with at least 170 million gallons of crude. the gulf oil spill was voted the number one media story of 2010 by u.s. editors and news directors, let's talk about that number one story for a second. the media always liked to find villains in events like this. so who was the villain?...
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Nov 10, 2011
11/11
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i support it. >> jon: that is jon corzine gnchts. (laughter) in april of last year clamoring for regulation to prevent wall street firms from doing this. >> m.f. global was leveraged at a race of 40-1. that means for every dollar of equity it had, it held nearly ny $40 of debt. >> to put in perspective, lehman brothers had leverage of about 30 or 33-1. >> jon: mother (bleep)er! (laughter) (cheers and applause) let me just get this straight. (laughter) politician jon corzine saw lehman brothers as a cautionary tale. financial firm honcho jon corzine saw it as a dare. (laughter) 30-1? pussies. (laughter) you know, no, it's not his fau fault. corzine just couldn't resist the sweet nectar of the private sector. (laughter) but i'm wondering, what did politician john corzine say about c.e.o.s who try and circumvent regulation again? >> there would have been pushback, but that's when strong regulation has to be in place. >> jon: and what did m.f. global head john corzine do vis-a-vis being regulated? well, when the financial regulatory agen
i support it. >> jon: that is jon corzine gnchts. (laughter) in april of last year clamoring for regulation to prevent wall street firms from doing this. >> m.f. global was leveraged at a race of 40-1. that means for every dollar of equity it had, it held nearly ny $40 of debt. >> to put in perspective, lehman brothers had leverage of about 30 or 33-1. >> jon: mother (bleep)er! (laughter) (cheers and applause) let me just get this straight. (laughter) politician jon...
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Sep 19, 2011
09/11
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. thank you very much. very kind. we have a great monday night. our guest tonight, one of my favorites, the chairman of the joint chief of staffs admiral mike mullen will be joining us later. it's our third time talking to him which i believe makes me a sergeant. (laughing) we begin tonight with the obviously the big story from this weekend. obviously what everyone was talking and thinking about: president obama's jobs bill. a bill so important that its unveiling last thursday night preempted the packers'-saints game pre-game through. two teams with high expectations for the coming season. i'm sorry. what were we talking about? jobs bill. what is so great about this that it preempted my pre-game show? >> it will create more jobs for construction workers, more jobs for teachers, more jobs for veterans and more jobs for long-term unemployed. repair and modernize at least 35,000 schools. it will provide a tax break for companies who hire new workers and cut payroll taxes in half for every
( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. thank you very much. very kind. we have a great monday night. our guest tonight, one of my favorites, the chairman of the joint chief of staffs admiral mike mullen will be joining us later. it's our third time talking to him which i believe makes me a sergeant. (laughing) we begin tonight with the obviously the big story from this weekend. obviously what everyone was talking and thinking...
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Sep 14, 2011
09/11
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. >> jon: in this political climate.... >> pass this jobs bill. >> jon: touche. that was thursday night. the next day, obama heads out to sell the bill with a huge rally-- and i thought this was a nice touch-- eric cantor's home district. this morning he does the whole rose garden ceremony with a hundred of his closest props. >> stand ing with me this morning are men and women who will be helped by the american jobs act. i'm standing with teachers. i'm standing here with veterans, with cops and firefighters, small business owners, construction workers. >> jon: wow. it's like he's with the village people. it's like he is with the village people of a double-dip recession. we have to live at the y-m-c-a. look, i've got to say... ( cheers and applause ) look at the fire. look at the fire in obama's belly. look at it. >> now is not the time for people in washington to be worrying about their jobs. it's time for them to be worrying about your jobs. now is the time to put americans back to work. now is the time to act. >> jon: i remember that guy. it's so refreshing, la
. >> jon: in this political climate.... >> pass this jobs bill. >> jon: touche. that was thursday night. the next day, obama heads out to sell the bill with a huge rally-- and i thought this was a nice touch-- eric cantor's home district. this morning he does the whole rose garden ceremony with a hundred of his closest props. >> stand ing with me this morning are men and women who will be helped by the american jobs act. i'm standing with teachers. i'm standing here with...